Stress

It's happening already. I thought I'd at least have a couple weeks before my life felt like it was crumbling around me. I had prepared for this after all. But with application after application without not even a "we reviewed your application" back, life is getting stressful. And when life gets stressful I find myself wanting to cry about everything.  For instance, today while I was on the elliptical in the gym watching E! (cause I'm cool like that) they were talking about Harry Potter and how this last movie was the end. Not something new, yet I teared up. What the heck Annie, pull it together! I don't really have an explanation, but maybe it was because Harry Potter ending represented my childhood ending, since the books began when I was ten and I've been obsessed with them from the very beginning. But, come on now, don't cry!

Then of course my mother called, full of information that my niece has a fever and my sister, who is visiting her, now has a fever as well and they are all sick and Annie, you sound sad, what's the matter? And all I can do is try to hold it together (because at this point I was in the public computer room in my apartment complex) and try to tell her I'm ok, just tired and stressed, then hurry off the phone.

It's probably because I haven't been eating well, and all I want is a gosh darn piece of chocolate cake already. Or the obvious, I've gotten over the excitement of moving to Austin and am now hitting the reality that no one actually wants to pay me to sit around and smile and eat chocolate cake. Shame.


For the moment I am avoiding anything even the least bit sad or gooshy (a blog post about a girl in love made me want to crawl up in my air mattress and cry my eyes out because I'm alone and probably always will be), trying to eat a bit more, and finishing up praying my novena to St. Joseph, hoping that by day 9 something miraculous will happen.

And today, to de-stress, I am going to put down my computer, stop checking my phone every two minutes, and go relax by the pool.