Friday, June 17, 2011

Sweaty is the new Black

I have never sweat so much in my life. I didn’t even sweat this much when I lived in the Dominican and was forced to wear capris and heavy weight cotton crew neck t-shirts. So yeah, it’s a bit hot in Texas. Who would have thunk it?
Right now I can hear B4 shouting (all the way from Vermont – calm down! We all hear you!) “I told you you didn’t realize how hot it would be!” But I did realize. What I didn’t realize was people would continue to dress just the same way we dressed up in Vermont where it’s a balmy fifty degrees. I mean jeans? You’re wearing jeans??? Yeah, I’m pretty sure my jeans would melt to my body and never come off again. Oh the horror.
Also, apparently it isn’t appropriate to go around naked, or even half naked. Apparently you are supposed to wear real clothes, bra and underwear do not suffice. Which means we have a problem. In the beginning, I tried to comply. I mean, I’m pretty sure no one would hire me if I went to an interview with a lightweight (see also: slutty) skirt and bikini. *But you never know.* So I put on a nice, conservative skirt, a pretty blouse, and was on my way. It didn’t take five minutes before I had completely soaked through my shirt and there was sweat dripping, nay, pouring down my legs. Disgusting.
My only solution? Apply online a lot while sitting in my bedroom under the blasting ac wearing only my bathing suit. Once applications are all sent out, live in the pool. Hang around in bathing suit all day. Drink lots of water and occasionally pour an entire glass over your head. Try to only put real clothes on when absolutely necessary. Like when you really need a glass of wine and do not have any in your house so you quickly skip over to Wal-Mart and buy a bottle for $2.77.
Holy air mattress, I’m classy.
But for real, can we make an announcement that dressing slutty is ok during the long summer months as long as we’re doing it to keep cool? No objections, right? And wearing your bathing suit to the office is not only ok, it’s expected? Ok, great. That would be lovely.

Now I’m off to the pool.

1 comment:

  1. i would also put on clothes to buy a bottle of wine for $2.77 - uh-mazing, can i play?! the heat sounds horrific, sorry about that. But its currently freezing here, so i'd trade anything to be poolside right now! good luck with the job hunt stuffs. x P


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