You've come in at the beginning of a movie

All movies start in the middle, and this is where you are starting with me. I thought for a moment about giving you a summary of my life until now, but that bores me so it will probably bore you as well. Also, I don't care to tell you about my life, I'm just here because I need to write. It has been forever since I've really written and I am afraid that if I don't try to do it as much as possible I'll lose it. I've already lost it actually, but I guess I'm trying to get it back.

Why write a blog? Simple, I have a ridiculous dream that some day I will write so well and someone will tell me that I am amazing and they want to pay me to do it. That is all. Also it is really boring to just write in a journal.

So here we are, the beginning of my movie, the middle (oh gosh no, not middle, first quarter!) of my life.

An American in Copenhagen, Denmark. A coward, a flake, a dreamer... these are all things I have thought of myself today. I'm leaving Denmark, heading back to the states, heading back to the land of the familiar. Well, sort of.

The land of the familiar is the middle of a hay field with cows in the distance and not a store for miles... and yes I guess I am going there, but I swear for just a month! Not longer... please not longer! I worry occasionally that I am giving up too early, but I am searching for happiness, and for me happiness lies with my friends.

My love and itch to travel always made me think that living abroad was what i really was yearning for. But it wasn't the living, it was the traveling. And now I don't travel, I just live, far away from my family and my familiar lifestyle. So I am returning.

But as I sit here watching my niece making "cake" for her mor and daddy I feel a bit of sadness. How do I choose between all of my friends and family in the states and my so adorable it hurts niece in Denmark? Sometimes it makes me resent my brother for moving so far away from my family. For depriving my mom of her first grand child, all of my brothers and sisters of their first niece. But that is selfish, how could I ask my sister-in-law to leave her family, her support system? I wouldn't if my husband's family lived in another country.

So I am going home. Hopefully I will move to Boston, hopefully I will get a good job. Hopefully no one will care that I never finished my bachelor's. Hopefully I will finish my bachelor's... and soon... hopefully I will not pick up and leave in another six months... like always...

There are way too many hopefullys... I just have to have a little faith and trust... and a bit of pixie dust