This holiday is taken very, very seriously where I come from. What else do we have going for us? Yes, delicious, amazing, wonderful maple syrup. And Cabot cheese that I will love forever and ever. (And I know someone is going to say we have skiing. But listen, I do not like skiing. Nope, I live on a ski mountain and I don't like it. Get over it.) But come on, this is ice cream. And now it is ice cream you can get for free. And if you are like me you drive to every single scoop shop in the whole damn state and bordering states and you get a lot of free ice cream. You guys are aware I'm a huge fatty right?
Also, I love anything that is free. When Cumberland Farms did free coffee Fridays I died. I probably had five every Friday. Sometimes I would have more. Then I would spend the whole day running around and screaming in strangers' faces "Free Coffee!!!" That's a true story.
In college we would drive all over Rhode Island (not actually an amazing feat) and into Connecticut to visit every scoop shop in order to eat a lot of ice cream without people knowing how disgusting we really were. All was well until we got pulled over for having too many people in the car. The officer asked where we were going.
"Ben and Jerry's!" We all chimed in, ready to help in any way. That's when the cop noticed our empty ice cream cups littering the dashboard.
"You mean you are coming from Ben and Jerry's?" We were caught. The embarrassment was almost too much to bear. He took all of our id's as we tried to explain it was Free Cone Day and it was completely legal to get free ice cream at multiple scoop shops. As he walked to his cruiser I knew we would all be arrested.
When he returned to our car he tapped on the window and asked, "Which one of you is Annie O?"
My stomach lurched, "Um, me..."
"Annie, there's a warrant out for your arrest in the state of Vermont." You may think I'm kidding, but I am absolutely not.
So I do what any person would do, I started racking my brain trying to remember every detail from last weekend (I had spent it in Burlington, weird stuff happens in Burlington...) and the joking worry from before suddenly became a realty. My friends stared at me in disbelief as I turned bright red.
"I'm just kidding. Hey, where's the next scoop shop?" I hated that man more than I've ever hated a man before.
But then he didn't give us a ticket, followed us to the next scoop shop and bought me a soda (because the ice cream was free, duh). I have no idea why, out of a car jam packed with people, he decided to pick on me (the one girl who may have actually done something wrong). But I got a free soda out of it, along with all those free ice creams, and I may have also peed my pants. But what's the harm in that right?
Let's talk about something lighter. More happy. More... flavorful.
Growing up my favorite flavor was Cherry Garcia. Turns out, that's the country's most popular flavor. It is also Japan's most popular flavor. I say that because I have seen one Japanese boy try five different flavors and Cherry Garcia was his favorite. I have decided that was a good enough sample size.
For a glorious three years I ate Bovinity Divinity like it was going out of style. And it was, it now resides in the Flavor Graveyard. I visit it often to cry.
In college I had the boy at my favorite wings restaurant deliver New York Super Fudge Chunk on occasion. The restaurant was across the street from Cumberland farms, so he drove over there and bought the ice cream before he delivered my wings. I also had him bring me a tub of sour cream once. How I managed to get this boy to deliver such fatty things I will never know. But I will always remember him fondly.
And now? Now I am wholeheartedly, 100% in love with Coffee Heathbar Crunch. The problem? It is not served in Scoop shops. I had a long conversation about why with one of the scoopers in Burlington once, he seemed well informed, but I was skeptical, so now I do not remember the explanation. Also, it is not available in Denmark. Which is why tomorrow I will be getting a free Triple Caramel Chunk. And then I will return and enjoy a free Chocolate Macadamia. And doing a little research I see that Clusterfluff is now available in scoop shops so I will have to make a third trip, simply because I can get a free Clusterfluff. How could you pass that up? I hope you all will partake in the Clusterfluff.
I will also be downloading the Ben and Jerry's Scoop of Happiness App on my brothers Iphone (cause he's cool and has one and I'm super uncool and do not). You should all do that too. And take pictures with the Free Cone frame and share them on twitter, and I will love you forever.
Wait! Are you following me on Twitter?? DO IT! @anniedrinkwine (shameless plug? or I just don't want to miss a thing about you..?
Now, get out there and get your free cone(s)!
Oh, and P.S. I will actually be having a free cup. Because cones kill me. Sort of. Ok, cones just make me get a little sick. And by a little I mean a lot.
BUT GO! EAT ICE CREAM!!
And when you are full of ice cream, go read Vegetable Assassin's post about Vermont, it's delightful.