Monday, March 7, 2011

Drinking with Jesus and please don't hate me for this.

I've fallen in love with a new singer. Some blog led me to her a few weeks ago, and then I heard her again yesterday and then I finally looked her up and realized she is Christian singer and all of her songs are about Jesus. And I love her music so much that I keep thinking, maybe she will change my relationship with Jesus and I will become the Catholic that my mother wishes I was. And then I will start singing too, and telling everyone about the love of Jesus (which is great). And maybe this nun lifestyle I've started will really pan out into a real nun lifestyle and my grandmother will die happy and my mother will cry and peace will come to my family. Because I said yes to Jesus. All because of this singer.
Yeah, I love her that much.

Except that probably isn't how it will happen at all. Because I love her songs. And I love Jesus of course. But I also love to drink... a lot. So I feel like my relationship with Jesus will always be like Miranda Lambert's.
I'm pretty sure when Jesus and I meet up there will be a lot of wine drinking. And then I'll be like, "Hey Jesus, this is tequila!" and he'll be like "I know it's tequila Annie, I invented it. I also invented limes so please cut them up while I get the salt." And I'll be like "Our God is an awesome God." and he'll be like "I know right? But don't tell Mary." Which works both ways because both of our mothers' names are Mary. But he wouldn't really say that because we both know both Marys know all. Plus we love both Marys very much. And if I told my mother I was drinking tequila with Jesus she would just respond "Of course you are." Because she doesn't like confrontation. And everything is ok if Jesus is involved. And I am getting way too into this.
I love you Jesus. Now I'm going to have a glass of wine and sing about it.

I'm sorry if this offends you. I know it would offend my mother. But this is my relationship with Jesus, and so far things have been good between us, so I am going to keep it up.


  1. I have to tell you I found your blog on 20sb and I just litterally lol'ed my tail off at work.

  2. I found you in the GF group on 20sb and this really made me laugh. Damn straight Jesus invented tequila. Wasn't his first miracle making water into wine for a wedding reception?

    Can you tell us who this awesome singer is?

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