Lately, although I cover it with humor, I've been freaking out about money. I returned from Denmark with a hundred kroner to my name (less than $20). And although I've been working over 40 hours a week since December and attempting to live like a hermit, life gets expensive. So I drew up a budget, looked at all my financials, and estimated the cost of moving, and rent for three months. And I balked. I could do it, but I would be skimping by.
I tried not to let it worry me. I have lived on very little before. I am a pro at living off the bare necessities. But knowing how far away I'd be from my family, not knowing when I would get a job, or how well it would pay... I couldn't help but let the worry creep over me.
So I started to pray about it. I asked God if He really wanted me to go to Austin, if this was really in His plan. I have done things before that were definitely against His plan, and I have suffered for it. So I wanted to go about it right this time. Is this what He wants?
As the plans came together I received positive reactions from the most important people in my life. I felt at ease, except for my lack of money, and the difficulty in getting a second job with my hours and the fact that I would be leaving in May. So I asked God, if this was his plan, could he maybe help me with my financial burden?
I didn't expect anything from it. Why would God help me with something like money. Why would He want me to move to Texas when I could just as easily stay here and not need any money. But I knew that I really couldn't stay here, and I hoped that God recognized it too. I was sure He did, He knows my heart.
Then last week I got a call for a baby sitting job, they would pay me $75.00 to watch a few kids for a couple hours. The next day $50.00 arrived in the mail for me. An old friend remembered he owed me money - I had completely forgotten. This extra income, if only a one time thing, was welcome. It was the exact amount I needed to pay for my eye doctor.
Saturday we got a phone call from a woman who lived up the road. I have never met her, and my parents only knew of her. She was calling to offer me a job as a night nanny. She had gotten my name, as well as rave reviews, from a woman who attends my church. The woman highly recommended me. I was surprised. I knew of this woman, I see her every Sunday, but have never spoken to her. I didn't know she knew who I was, or that I worked with children, but somehow she did.
It is the perfect job. I will be taking care of newborn twins, helping with their nightly feedings, as well as attending to the one and a half year old boy if he wakes during the night. And they only need me until May. After I accepted the job, I immediately prayed to God in thanks. I truly believe that Austin is where He wants me to be, everything has come together, and God has been answering all my prayers. I only hope that I am worthy.
I do feel bad, my parents have been struggling financially for a while, and yet I am the one getting helped. My mother says she understands. God just wants me to know He is there. We are in our Honeymoon-stage she says. He wants to know that I am loved, and no matter what I have done or gone through, He will always be there.