Sunday, March 13, 2011

What you should know if you are going to live with me

The other day I was terribly bored so I started a list for Madic of things he should know about living with me. We have been best friends for 11 years but living together is going to be a bit different. I can't help but worry that he has no idea what he is getting himself into. So Madic - here it is - are you ready?

Sometimes I need to be alone. I will close myself up in my room. I may get home, grab food, and head straight for my room and not come out for hours. But it doesn’t mean anything. I just need my time sometimes.

Sometimes I can’t be alone. Sometimes I am so starved for attention that I will seek you out. Sometimes I will chatter away without taking breaths. Other times I’ll just want to sit near you.

The kitchen cannot get dirty. I will make sure it doesn’t get dirty. You will make sure it doesn’t get dirty. My room may get dirty. My room usually reflects how put together my life is. If my life is falling apart, my room is a disaster. If I am happy, organized, life is good, then my room is organized. I’m working on not letting my mood affect my cleaning behavior.

Sometimes I cry for no reason. A hallmark commercial can make me cry. Sometimes I take everything to heart. I take on everyone’s emotions until they fall out of me. It’s nothing big. You don’t need to comfort me (unless I cry that I just need a hug). Sometimes I will try to continue on with things pretending tears are not streaming down my face. Not often, but sometimes. Just ignore them.

I don’t talk in the morning. Ever. I have my coffee, I get ready for the day, I leave for the day. There is no small talk. I react badly to small talk in the morning. After 10 am I am happy as a clam (and 3 cups of coffee in).

I am going to listen to country music. Not all the time. But occasionally. I will try to only listen to it when you are not in the house, but sometimes I just need it.

I will dance. I will be silly. I will want to have people over to have dinner with us. I will want to drink at home more often than I will want to go out on the town. I will want to surround myself with fun, amazing people. I will want to have game night, and I will want it to be taken seriously. I want our house to be fun and inviting.

I do not want our house to look like we just moved in. I want it to look lived in, I want it to be comfy. It will not be a bachelor pad, it will not be a boy’s dorm room or even a girls dorm. It will be a home.

Sometimes I like to go out until four in the morning. I will come home and I will destroy the kitchen trying to find something delicious to make. I will come home, and if you are in bed I will want to wake you up and have you listen to all of my stories. I will want you to eat food with me. I will apologize profusely, but I will still try to drag you out of bed.

Sometimes I might bring a boy home. He may be a one night stand. He may be something lasting (not likely). Please don’t judge me. It won’t happen often.  But it will happen. Please be nice to him if he comes to breakfast.

Sometimes I will cry about stupid boys. Sometimes I will wonder why they don’t call. I will ask you a million questions about what you think is going on in their heads. Because you are a boy. So you must know.

Sometimes I will fall in love with boys and be incredibly bored with them six days later. Try to keep up? Never mind, you do not need to keep up. Just don’t judge me. And try not to call the next guy by the last guy's name.

I will cook. I will clean. I will stretch a dollar as far as it can go, and then some. And then sometimes I will beg to get take out. I will beg to hire a cleaning lady. I will want to go on a shopping spree.

I will constantly want to buy things for the apartment. I will need your help controlling myself.
I will constantly want to buy things for me. Please help me.

In the beginning I may stress that we do not have any friends. I will want you to go out constantly. I will drag you to flea markets. I will make you wait outside where my interview is. I will try every bar around.

Sometimes I will whine.

Sometimes I will sing.

Sometimes I will start drinking at noon. 

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